Love and Marriage

In a few days is my wife’s and my 21st anniversary!  What a blessing God has given me to be happily married to a wonderful wife that I love.  It is sad to see what the world has become when it comes to love and marriage, especially in American society.  We have twisted the values of marriage, of love, of relationships and wonder why there is so much hatred and violence.  We try to pass laws to “fix” the situations instead of going to the source…the home and the heart.  Until those things are fixed, it’s not going to get better.  We need more love, less selfishness.  We need to raise our kids to love and respect others and how to treat our spouses.  We need to make God the center of our home and our lives.  Most of us know “the love chapter” in 1 Corinthians 13.  You hear it in weddings often.  We need to read through this carefully and live it.  What else does God say about marriage?

Let us go back to the beginning.  Who are we?  Where did we come from?  What are our rights and responsibilities on this earth?  When did marriage start and how does God define it?

Genesis 1:26-28

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

We have the right to subdue this earth and the things in it, but we have the responsibility to take care of it.  God gave us many resources to use for our lives.  Let us use what he has given us for our life and to take care of each other.  We need to remember Who gave us these things and Who they really belong to.  We have a great privilege on this earth; let us not abuse it; let us not be greedy with it; let us share and help those in need.

 Genesis 2:18-24

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones

And flesh of my flesh;

She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

They shall become one flesh.  Equal, with different roles.  Male and female.  We should treat each other as part of us.  And honor Him who created us and brought us together.

Matthew 19:3-6

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,  and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

The “D” word.  It is not spoken in our house.  Marriage is a lifelong covenant before God.  Not just a saying for the wedding.  We are joined; never separated.  One man, one woman.  We treat each other as part of ourselves.  We love each other to the end, we care for one another, we are faithful to one another always and forever.  No exceptions.  None.

1 Corinthians 6:15-20

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”  But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, tells us a little more about marriage and the relationship we are to have in a marriage.  It is also an analogy of who we are in Christ.  In both cases, we are to be faithful.  We are to put all sexual immorality behind us as a new creation, as a follower of Christ, as a marriage partner.  Our lives, including our bodies, belong to another.  There are many ways to glorify God and to show Him how grateful we are for redeeming us.  Being faithful.  Loving.  Obedient.  Thankful.  Respectful.

Ephesians 5:22-33

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

We each have a role in our marriage, to support one another.  So many don’t like the word, “submission.”  What does it mean?  To me, it means give your all to that person.  It does not give anyone the right to be domineering.  The whole context of this scripture needs to be read.  Notice the command to the husbands is much greater.  We must give our lives to our wife.  We must be an example by living godly lives and treating our wives with respect and supporting them.  We must love them as Christ loved the church.  How did He do that?  He gave His life for us.  He forgave us.  He taught us and was an example to us.  He interceded for us and prays for us.  He protects us from the evil one.  That is what we need to do for each other.  Forgive where we need to forgive, love always, and pray for one another.